


They Call Her the Sweet Omega

by TheFandomLesbian



Series: Angela's Raulson One-Shots [1]
Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Coven
Genre: Comedy, Crack, F/F, Romance, Silly, crackfic, foxxay - Freeform, goode-day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 06:36:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16969545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFandomLesbian/pseuds/TheFandomLesbian
Summary: Misty has some questions about her sexuality. Madison and Nan help her sort things out. But can they keep Cordelia from getting wise of Misty's crush on her?





	They Call Her the Sweet Omega

“ They call her the sweet Omega

Then she'll take away the sadness in your heart

Cause the only road that you'll ever need to ride

Is the one that's rolling out, beyond her eyes” --”She’s Changing Me,” Fleetwood Mac

.

Misty should have known better than to take advice from Madison. In fact, she did know better. Regarding any other subject, and even regarding this if Nan wouldn’t have seen fit to tell everyone what was going on inside her head, she would have stuck her fingers in her ears and kept right on walking. 

“Who’s the best fuck you ever had?” Madison asked, after Misty had answered the question truth or dare. 

Rolling her eyes, she amended, “Dare.”

Queenie waved her off. “Hey, hey, hey! You can’t change it! Answer the truth!”

“Tell me, Swampie. Best fuck. It’s okay if it was an animal. We all need a good dicking sometimes.” 

Swallowing hard, Misty tried to think of a good lie, but before she could produce anything, Nan said, “Leave her alone, Madison! She hasn’t been with anyone.” 

Face flaming, Misty whirled on Nan. “Can you not?” she hissed. 

The damage was done. It was too late. Madison knew her secret, and Madison wanted to fix it--where “fixing it” entailed getting her laid. Two days later, she found herself fixed to the toilet seat with magic as Madison jerked her hands through her curly hair. “Let me up! Let me go!” She wriggled until the scorching flat iron came close enough to her face for her to feel the heat waves radiating off of it. She pinched her eyes closed tight, nearly expecting Madison to lay the whole iron across her face. 

“Chill. This is step one in a multi-faceted plan. I’ve got a black dress with your name on it. Tonight, we’re going clubbing, and you’re leaving with a man.”

Her hair sizzled as it fell away from her face. “Did Nan tell you everything?” she asked, lip curled with annoyance, “or did she just tell you half of it?” 

“I don’t know. What’s the rest of it?” 

Rolling her eyes skyward, Misty curled her toes into the bath mat. “I ain’t even certain I like men,” she mumbled. 

“Oh. Well, that simplifies things.”

“It does? ‘Cause it seems to me it makes them a lot more difficult, personally.” 

A few hours later, when she walked into her bedroom wearing nothing but a towel after her shower and found Kyle sitting on her bed equally naked, she should have known Madison was at the root of the problem. “Kyle? What in the hell are you doing in here?” He stood up and walked to her, towering like a serial killer in one of those movies, and she turned to leave the room at a brisk trot. “Madison!” The door slammed shut and locked. “Oh, for fuck’s sake. Maddie! Maddie!” She rattled the door in its frame, but the lock had wedged itself shut, pinned by magic. “I didn’t agree to live at Hogwarts! For the love of god! Zoe! Queenie! Nan! Somebody come let us outta here!” 

Kyle settled a warm hand on her bare shoulder and turned her around. “It’s okay,” he said. “I won’t hurt you.” 

“Oh, like hell you will.” Her back struck the wall, and her eyes flared wide. Kyle leaned down and kissed her. His erect penis poked her in the stomach. It made her belly flip--not in a pleasant way, but in a nauseating way which made her fear she would vomit. She put a hand on his chest, and he stopped. “Kyle,” she said in a low, husky voice, “I care about you as my friend, but if you touch me with that thing again, I will cut. It. Off.” 

The lock popped and swung open to reveal Zoe. “Misty? Are you okay? I heard you--” 

Her screaming filled the entire house at the sight of Kyle holding Misty against the wall, both of them naked as jaybirds. Misty fumbled for her towel at the sound of footsteps on the stairs racing upstairs. “What are you doing? Get away from my boyfriend!” Zoe shrieked. The window vibrated with the force of her magic, and then it shattered, spilling glass everywhere and allowing the breeze to sail through Misty’s room. 

“Zoe--it ain’t what it looks like--” Misty slipped out from under Kyle’s arm and stepped behind him, using him as a  human shield between herself and Zoe. He was tough. He could take it. 

Madison’s head was the next to appear at the door. “Awesome! It worked!”

She turned back to give Nan a high five, but Nan shook her head. “I told you it was a bad idea.”

“It didn’t work!” Misty snapped. “I was right! Will somebody get this naked man out of my room?”

“So you know you like girls!” Madison’s satisfaction with the situation did not abate. 

“What on earth is going on in here?” Her heart sank at the sound of Cordelia’s voice. Misty rocked back onto her heels, muttering a prayer under her breath. How many people were going to wind up in her room, staring at her in her towel and Kyle in nothing? “Zoe?”

“Misty likes girls!” Zoe snarled. 

Cordelia’s eyebrows knitted together. “That only sounds mildly homophobic--” She cut herself off as she spotted Kyle, and in a sharper voice, she asked him, “Where are your clothes?” 

“I can explain--”

Misty shouldered past Kyle, lips twisted downward into a snarl as she clasped her towel tightly around her middle. She had never wanted anyone to see this much of her body, especially not Cordelia. At the last thought, Nan peered past her Supreme, giving Misty a knowing look. “Maddie decided she was gonna help me figure out whether or not I liked men, so she tricked me and Kyle and locked us both in here, and he was naked when I got here and I definitely don’t want any of his body to ever touch any of my body ever again, so will everybody let me get dressed?” This certainly wasn’t how she had planned to come out to anyone, let alone the entire coven. Her face burned with shame. 

Zoe made another shrill cry of anger and whirled on Madison. Cordelia pinched the bridge of her nose. “Everyone, go downstairs. Go--get started on dinner.” The other girls waited, watching her for another sign or suggestion. “Go!” 

They scampered down the stairs, leaving Cordelia alone in her door frame. She entered the room and closed the creaking door behind her. “I’m sorry, Miss Cordelia--I didn’t mean for none of this--I swear it, it was all Maddie’s idea.” The cold wind hit her back again, cutting through her wet hair which was still sodden from the shower. “And Zoe broke the window, but I don’t think she meant to. I’d probably break something, too, if it were me.” 

“It’s okay.” Cordelia held up her hands. “Are you okay?” 

Misty shrugged. “I mean… Everybody was gonna find out somehow. Wasn’t how I planned it, but ain’t no sense fussing.” She turned away. “Least now Maddie oughta leave me alone about hooking up with somebody.” 

Cordelia’s soft hand rested on her shoulder. It was the same shoulder that Kyle had touched, but her palm was so very different. Her heart skipped a beat in her chest. “I’m sorry.” Misty’s pulse throbbed in her tongue with anxiety. She could smell Cordelia’s intoxicating perfume. “If anyone bothers you, I want you to come to me. Do you promise me that? I won’t accept any bullying.” Misty nodded. She didn’t expect anyone to bully her. Cordelia hugged her. Her heart skipped a beat, and she hugged back even though it made her towel slip. A tender kiss pressed to her cheek. Misty nearly swooned. “So… Do you like anyone?” 

Her voice emerged in a panicked squeak, betraying the lie before it ever touched her lips. “Nope.” 

Chuckling, Cordelia withdrew. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me. But I do like to keep up with the gossip.” She tucked a cold, wet curl behind Misty’s ear. “You can stay in my room tonight. I’ll have someone come fix the window tomorrow.” 

That night, lying in bed still as a corpse beside Cordelia, Misty kept stealing sideways glances at her Supreme, who slept peacefully on her side with the moonlight streaming through the window highlighting all of her curves in silver. The sheer nightgown clung to her frame. “Yeah, this ain’t happening,” Misty breathed to herself. She tiptoed out of bed and out of the room, downstairs. “I need a bagel.”

The kitchen light was on. “I was waiting for you,” Nan said. “Are you going to tell her?” 

“Like hell I am!” Misty plopped herself onto the kitchen stool beside Nan. “I can’t believe Maddie did that to me. Or to Kyle, actually.” 

“She likes Zoe. She wanted to break up her and Kyle.” 

“She--you--what?” 

Nan shrugged. “It was a good plan, I guess. But I could’ve told her it wouldn’t work. You’ve been dreaming about Cordelia since always.” She slid the bagel down the counter. “Here. Strawberry cream cheese, like you like.”

“Oh, thanks.”

“Cordelia only buys that cream cheese because you like it.” Misty couldn’t reply with her mouth full of bagel. “Did you at least tell her about your type?”  _ What’s my type?  _ Misty asked in her mind, chewing through the tough bread and wiping her mouth. “You know, older women.”  _ That’s not my type.  _ “Are you sure? ‘Cause, I mean, Stevie Nicks…” 

Misty coughed, choking herself on the bagel. “You leave Stevie outta this.” She wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Okay, so maybe I got a type, and maybe I would like Cordelia to--”

“Ew, stop! Stop thinking!” 

“Oh, please. What do you think I should do?” 

“You don’t want Madison’s advice, but you want mine?”  

“You gotta have a better plan than locking me and Cordelia into a room naked together.” 

Nan cackled. “I think you should just talk to her. Or at least tell her your type.” 

Sighing, Misty drew her finger through the trail of cream cheese left on the plate, licking it up. “What will she say? What does she really think?” Nan gave her a familiar, knowing smile. “Oh, c’mon, Nan! Don’t look at me like that! I need to know!” 

Nan shook her head. “I don’t interfere.” 

“Of course you don’t.” 

Footsteps headed down the stairs. Nan and Misty fell silent, both looking up to see Cordelia headed down the stairs, her nightgown flapping around her beautiful legs. Misty hitched a breath at the sight of her. Nan plunged an elbow into her ribs to make her remember to breathe. “Misty? Nan? Are you alright?” Misty nodded, unable to speak. Cordelia muffled a yawn with the palm of her hand. “Okay.” She headed down the staircase and got a glass of water. “Get some sleep, girls.” 

Nan expected her involvement in the situation to go no further, but instead, she found herself in the kitchen with Cordelia the next day, trying her best to block out all of the whispers in her head while she grilled a cheese sandwich. She barely had a warning--perceiving a thought of,  _ I should ask Nan _ \--before Cordelia appeared beside her, and she slipped her headphones off of her ears at the sight of her Supreme. “It ain’t me,” Nan said. Cordelia blinked. “I’m not the one Misty likes.” 

“But you know who it is.” 

“Yep.”

“Can you--”

“Nope. It’s none of your business.” Nan pressed the sandwich into the pan and watched it sizzle. “What has she told you?” 

Cordelia leaned against the counter. “Nothing! It’s like she’s avoiding me.” She drummed the toes of her shoes on the tile floor. “Am I making her feel weird? I don’t want her to be uncomfortable. I know that what happened--couldn’t have been pleasant for her, and I just--”

“You don’t need to give me the spiel. I know you like her.” 

“I do not--” Nan arched an eyebrow, and Cordelia cut herself off, averting her eyes. “Fine. But that’s not why I care. I want her to feel safe here. And she deserves to feel loved. I’d like to help her find someone.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “This isn’t very easy. You won’t even give me a hint?” 

Nan shrugged. “Misty told me she has a thing for older women.” 

Cordelia’s mind buzzed with a bold,  _ Of course! _ and Nan thought she had it, but she stood up straight, muttering, “It’s Myrtle! No wonder she was embarrassed!” as she fled the kitchen. Nan laughed so long that she burned her sandwich. 

Cordelia headed outside into the yard. Through the windows of the greenhouse, she spotted Misty and Madison, the former snipping at the leaves of a plant and pointing out the parts of the flower to the latter, who stared greedily at Misty’s lips and bobbed her head in agreement to whatever Misty was saying. As Cordelia rounded the corner and entered the greenhouse, Madison spun Misty around and kissed her.  _ Why does this keep happening?  _ Jealousy flushed through Cordelia for a second time in the week at the sight of someone standing over Misty--and just like before, Misty didn’t want it. Misty’s hands flurried into visible panic. Cordelia grabbed Madison by the back of her shirt and tugged her away. “It's polite to ask first.” 

“God _ damn _ , Cordy, you're always ruining the fun.” Madison wiped the dirt off of her hands. “I hate it out here. It's gross.” She stormed out of the greenhouse. 

Misty blushed. “Thanks.” She smiled at Cordelia. “That time wasn't so bad. Least she had all of her clothes on.” 

The envy burned inside of Cordelia. She struggled to squash it back down. “Would you have preferred me not to interrupt?” 

“Oh, hell no. You're a lifesaver, Miss Cordelia.” Misty began to roll up her books. “I'm sorry. I'll get out of your way.”

Misty was trying to run again. Cordelia touched her forearm. “Wait. I was just talking to Nan.” Her eyes stretched wide with fear. “She told me that you were--” 

“I'm sorry!” Misty blurted. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean nothing by it, swear it!” 

“No, don't worry, it's fine--”

“I do like you, but I don't expect nothing--”

“Me?”

Misty stopped talking. “What did Nan say?” 

“She said you had a thing for Myrtle.” 

Her jaw hung slack. “Were those her exact words?” 

Cordelia shrugged. “She said you liked older women, and it makes sense that you and Myrtle are close--” Misty pursed her lips, her eyes squinting with some thought running through them, before she dipped down and planted a quick kiss to Cordelia's lips. 

The blush crawled all over her. “Does it make sense now?” she asked in a soft voice. Cordelia's voice had vanished somewhere inside of her throat, and the search party kept returning empty handed. “I'm sorry,” Misty said again, softer, and she collected her books and began to leave the greenhouse. 

Grabbing her by the elbow again, Cordelia dragged her back and kissed her. She clung to the front of Misty's clothing. The envy which had followed her for days scalded through her veins, but she ignored it as she ground her lips against Misty's and found hers returning the favor with arms strung around her neck, books discarded in a heap on the table. Misty's gentle, dirty hands combed through her hair, pushing her back until she collided with a table. Cordelia sprang herself up onto the table. “It made me so jealous, seeing you like that with Kyle--”

“I can't believe you thought I liked Myrtle--”

“Nan misled me--” Misty laughed and kissed her again, leaning over her on the table, flowers and greenery framing her on either side. 

The door to the greenhouse creaked. They both froze. “That's a lie,” Nan called. “She's just oblivious!” She turned and retreated from the floral house, leaving both of them in peace. 


End file.
